The Big City

after all that, all the waiting and hoping... the first move is over, the big trip is over...

and I miss my life in SF. City life, of vibrance and friends, of love and crazy landlords, of great running spots and cold sunny days, of the best shopping, and I think most of all, of familiarity.

Yep, I'm feeling 'homesick', for my old home. It feels like a lifetime ago, but feels like I still belong, or at least want to.

And mostly, I'm disheartened to be in the suburbs, where I don't belong and seem to have judging eyes for everyone who does. Was it really a good decision to leave SF? Will it be ok if I set myself up in Austin, only to (maybe) be disappointed again? Since when do I fear disappointment, anyway?

After one week surrounded by 12 friends, and two more weeks surrounded by 13 strangers who became friends over a couple of beers and beach trips, I do welcome the solitude of home. Or at least, solitude. And I can look back now, and see how far I've come since I was 17.